How To Create Boundaries
Envision your peaceful, joyful and loving state of being as a garden protected by a greenhouse. It is beautiful, fragrant and blossoms with many kinds of plants. You have patiently worked hard on planting and nourishing each one. With your love and care, they each give you back something of them. Flowers give you beauty and sweet aroma, leafy greens feed your body with nutrients and fruits energize you. You love each one and they love you back.
And just like the garden, the work of maintaining and protecting is also extremely important. Realize that there will be crows, vultures, squirrels, weeds, and pests that want to suck the life out of your garden. Do not let them. Protect it by creating boundaries.
Think of boundaries as a greenhouse that your garden is in. Only you can choose what can enter and what leaves. The entrance is who and what you choose to give your power to. This what you choose to put your attention on, what you talk and think about and what you do with your time. If you mindlessly give others power over you, you are in a sense allowing them to come in and take whatever they want from your garden, or even worse come in and just trample all over it.
Yes, this is true when people see your beautiful blissful state of being they want a piece of it and if they cannot get it sometimes they simply just want to destroy yours to get you to feel as shitty as they do. Do not let them in.
You are the gatekeeper only allowing things in it that will serve you as a whole. If it is a person that wants to bring nourishment into your heart space by getting you involved in volunteering together, let them. If it is someone that at first seemed like they will be adding to your garden's growth and then you find them stomping on your most delicate flowers, then remove them.
You must do this or they will continue destroying what you are cultivating in your garden of life. Remember your natural state of being is peaceful, joyful and loving and if you experience an encounter with a person that disturbs this state of being then you know they are not welcomed in. That person does not even have to know this, the key is that you do. It doesn’t matter if it is your child, your boss, your brother or sister, your parent, a complete stranger on the street - never let anyone disturb your natural state of being. Observe their actions, do not get emotionally wrapped up in their pain.